Help me bring back my character to the ABC series 'Lost'
I was originally cast as 'Jerome' but he was cut from the series this season (writer's strike, ugh!). I think the storyline could use another fleshed out character or two, don't you?
Help me get back on the show --
sign my petition!
Realized that you can't send me your comments through Tumblr (bummer), so I set up
this email to reach me. I could use your support.
Archive
OK. So. I’m in that dark place where many actors live most of their lives. I want to be grateful to have the work, but I just don’t know if I can work with this director. Ok, so like, yesterday I came to work (first day of rehearsal) all prepared to nail the character. I had been working day and night since the last time I posted. GET THIS - he tells me to drop the accent. DROP THE ACCENT? The accent is the character. I don’t know how you can wrap your mind around a dude from the Bay Area that doesn’t have at least a little bit of a discernible accent. We’re not talking Borat here, but let’s be true to life. That’s why I got into acting. To nail accents. And girls. Hahahahaaaa oh man. That was bad. Can you tell I’m a bit giddy? Stressed out about this work I got ahead of me. Haven’t really been sleeping. God bless coffee and those “5 hour energy” shots I should probably not have so many of.
Wired,
BJ
He’s a hero. He’s a friend. He’s a man among men. He’s insecure, he’s courageous, he’s just like you and me. He’s an insurance salesmen who moonlights as a superhero. AND I SHALL BE PLAYING HIM IN THE PROUDEST PERFORMANCE OF MY LIFE TO DATE. At least I hope it shall be. I am already working on developing the character, even though I have at least three weeks before we start to shoot. Harriet the insurance superhero, from the bay area. I’ve been testing on the baristas.
The story is set in San Francisco, but Harriet is from Montana (I came up with that) so I’m really trying to find the right voice for him - a nice balance between western southern midwestern hick city slicker plantation droll. It’s all of those I think. The final product really is close to my own voice, but that’s good because you don’t want to overplay these things. For example, when I say “bike,” it’s like: “baaaiiieek” if you draw it out. Leonard would say it more like “baaaaiiiek.” Hear the reduced eee there? Yeah you don’t pay the big acting training bucks for nothing.
So yeah been doing my vocal exercises and character exercises here in the coffee hangout I like to call un-corporate Starbucks. I call them that cause they’re really nice. Really just no corporate feeling about this particular Starbucks location, some kind of ambience or something. Plus one of my favorite baristas told me she gets benefits and everything. To be honest, the idea of applying is starting to sound really appealing.
I mean, it would sound more appealing if I didn’t have a really strong feeling about the this role. The director has worked on upwards of three independent short films already, and he’s bringing in a professional special effects makeup artist to help with the CGI and stuff. SO yeah. It just sounds SUPER profesh. We’re talking SUPERHERO profesh. Get it - superhero movie, superhero profesh??? Nevermind. Anyway, yeah I’m just really excited. Throwing a little shindig tonight to celebrate my success. Feel free to hit me up if you wanna stop by. bringbackjerometolost@gmail.com. I got a iphone so I’ll get it anytime, anywhere. Thank you, Steve Job ;)
GOD BLESS YOU HARRIET!
Shoving it down your throats til you cry uncle,
BJ
I got caaaaasst! AHAHAHAHAAA!! More to come later my dear friends and followers…
BJ love
You may be saying, “who? wha? Sonuva…” but no. I don’t know any more than you do what these numbers mean. They magically and mysteriously appeared in my inbox recently, as the subject heading of an email. The body simply read: “Best, Walt.” Weirdly enough, the email was from some guy named Joel. Maybe spam. Whatever. I have decided that like all mysterious opportunities the universe presents, it is a window to the future. A window to opportunity. A window to a door to something else. So I have decided to perform what is perhaps the world’s first live blog number meditation. Enjoy.
4 score and seventy years ago. So. Sew. A needle pulling thread. Lead. Like in a pencil, not that rhymes with seed. Need. Feed. Feed the need. Read.
8 great Crazy Eights. Poker. Texas Hold Em. Mold Em. Scold em. Fold em. Laundry. Clothes line. Joe’s fine. Oh, Joe? He’s fine. Good old Joe. Joe Schmo. Whoa. Wha. Ha. Ma. Mama. Mamama.
15 The age at which I got my braces taken off. Not the age that I would have my first kiss. Came much later. Came much greater. Made much better. Butter. Can’t believe it’s not butter. But, her? No, him. Buthim. Buttim. A fat-free butter replacement.
16 Candles. Bandles. Bandy about town. Mouse. House.
23 Twenty three. Funny me. Willy nee. Will he be. Will he be? Willy nilly me. Sheesh. Weesh.
42 My dad’s age. He wears wifebeaters. Not really. But he should. Cause he’s topless sometimes and that’s disturbing. White curly chest hair and old man nipple burns my eyes. Flies. Like him. Bike for him.
love,
BJ
p.s. On my way to the lotto - hit me up gmail style and I’ll re back via ip (that’s lingo for iphone).
A juicy post 90% completed just lost its way to you thanks to a really really stupid internet connection problem. Thanks for nothing, “hot spot”. Fear not my friends, I’ll do a do-over, just for you.
I’m half writing these down for my own benefit - ya know just to log my ideas - but I hope they help some poor soul out there too…
*Dumpsters: Be careful here - LA is a good town for dumpster diving but it’s dangerous anywhere. Seek rich chi chi places where you can scavenge on the sly (like in a parking lot) but still find some good stuff. You’ll deal with less hypogenic needles and find more half-used bread loaves and avocados. Stale and brown but sustenance all the same.
*Cafes: You can buy a tea for a buck and get away with sitting for hours. Before the bus boy makes his regular rounds, grab and pocket the half eaten sandwiches and cookies and stuff. Return to your table and munch behind the safety of your “How to Be a Working Actor” paperback.
*People: Catch them after they exit the grocery store. Make up some brilliant story about how you haven’t eaten in so long because your wallet was stolen and you’re waiting for you mom to pick you up and you have low blood sugar and just need an apple or something. That one actually happened to me - my wallet wasn’t stolen but my mom was like twenty minutes late picking me up from Clowning class and I was really hungry. Been using it ever since.
*Restaurants: Just don’t pay. But take it from me, don’t go back afterwards.
Thanks and many apologies to McDonald’s, Le Petit Chathouse, Joe Barbecue, and countless others. Your forgiveness and understanding are greatly appreciated.
BJ
Our scene opens to a truly rad party at Matthew Fox’s pad (I think you’ll recall that he and I exchanged a few brief words at the kraft service table). I have never in my life seen such a splendiferous feast of cribdom. He had ice sculptures in the shape of pelicans, himself, Evangeline Lilly, John Leguizamo… (Not sure why on the latter.) There were multiple staircases going up and down and around his house - even sideways. He had a saber toothed tiger caged in his back yard. There’s music. There’s dancing. There’s lights flashing lights and papparazzi clawing at the gates to get in. Kanye, Beyonce, Carrot Top - they’re all in attendance, from A list to B list to D list to me…little old BJ.
Well, I am working this place like my life depended on it. Forget “networking” - I’m a god among kings. Jay-Z wants to collaborate on an album, Steven Spielberg wants to produce my life story, Jessica Alba nicknames me “papa” and George Carlin is sitting on my lap, sipping martinis.
WELL. Just when it can’t get any better, up saunters the casting director herself of what special television show on which yours truly was briefly featured and has yet to make a return appearance? You guessed it: LOST. I forget that casting director’s name. Susan? Annie? Apricot? Let’s call her Apricot, since that feels the most right. So Apricot just saunters up to me and tells me how much they all miss me on the show. Matthew Fox hisself really ENJOYED MY PERFORMANCE and felt that I BROUGHT A LOT TO THE ROLE. Well. Enough said. I whip a headshot out of the pocket of my spacesuit (always be prepared) and hand off that bad boy for her usage.
You know how some dreams just feel so real, that when you wake up kind of groggy you believe that they’re true? Well, it’s my humble opinion that these kinds of dreams are a window into your future. If you can dream it hard enough, and want it hard enough, it will come to be, and good dreams like mine are the first sign that it’s happening. Sure, maybe George Carlin won’t sit on my lap sipping martinis, especially considering he’s passed away RIP George Carlin, but I like to believe that this dream is a first step into the bright future that lies ahead.
Thanks all for the support and love. You’re my rock in a jello world.
Love from your favorite BJ
